Getting Derailed

Hey, I’ve missed you!  Been gone a long time and haven’t written or posted for almost 4 WHOLE MONTHS! Where the hell have you been girl? It’s what some of my readers wanted to know. I struggled for an answer, but the truth is…no where, just here livin’ and regrouping. I lost my muscle, now I’m back to building it back up.

When I sat down to write this post I thought a lot about the work I have been doing the past 4 months. I spent a lot of time reading, watching OWN and also some amazing talks on YouTube by some inspiring folks who just want to share what they have learned with the world and the gifts that they have been given from the Creator. It’s then that a lightbulb went off and I truly understood that the stirring that we all feel as humans is that we want to share our gifts with others in a way that either honors the Creator, blesses others, and feeds our spirit. My journey, is to honor the Creator and to bless others but I must also feed my spirit and it’s the main reason that I realize that I have to start writing again. It is something that I must do. It’s a part of who I am. It is my prayer that what I write will bless you today.

5 Things You Must Start Doing Today!

So today’s post is inspired by a TedTalk that I recently watched by Dr. Ivan Joseph. He is the head coach of the men’s soccer team at Ryerson University. For those of you that don’t know, I have a son who is a soccer player, an avid one. He watches FiFA all day and we spend most weekends at the soccer field from August to June and in soccer camps during the summer. His goal is to play in the World Cup one day. Being the supportive and encouraging mother that I am, I have sought to learn everything I can about what it takes to get to that level of competition. I absolutely believe in my son and I can imagine him playing on the best stage of soccer in the world in his future.

What Dr. Joseph said in his talk inspired me so much that I immediately saw its application, not just for my son, but for the many women whose paths I get to cross each day, especially single moms who may struggle with knowing how to encourage themselves, let alone their children, when they have big challenges ahead. I combine my insights from his talk along with some other amazing kernels of wisdom that I pray will inspire you to start doing these 5 things today (if you aren’t already)! 

1. Get a self-affirmation. Your mantra if you will. You absolutely must have one. Let me give you an example of one Dr. Joseph gave and I love it, “I am the captain of my ship and the master of my faith.” Mine is, “What you focus on, grows.” Since your thoughts influence actions, you need to speak positive words over your life all the time to drown out the negative that will continue to come at you. If you need inspiration, borrow one from here.

2. Surround yourself with uplifting and positive people who believe in you and will encourage you. Everyone needs to be encouraged and uplifted. No one who faces down a challenge, does it alone. Get away from people that will tear you down!

3. Engage in positive self-talk. We all have fears and have engaged in negative self-talk from time to time, but the only way to overcome it is with positive self-talk. Quiet those voices by reminding yourself of all the amazing things that you are capable of. A great way to remind yourself is to write yourself a brag letter – include everything that you are most proud of.

4.  Practice your craft, over and over again until you have become a master. Don’t ever get complacent. Practice, practice and practice some more. Apply pressure and watch yourself transform, like the polishing of a diamond. You can’t become an expert at your craft if you are not doing it. Even when you feel you have learned all you can, stretch yourself further, there is always room for you to continue learning and growing. Even if you can’t make money at it yet, do it for free until you can start charging.

5.  Project confident body language. I learned this from Dr. Ann Cuddy’s research on body language. She says that “when we pretend to be powerful we have a tendency to become more powerful”. Or put another way, fake it till you feel it (I changed it a little). Watch how you hold your hands and how you carry your frame (no slouchy). Studies have shown that women who exude confident body language are more attractive to the opposite sex. That alone should get you to walk confidently. 🙂

In closing, let me say that life will kick you in the butt over and over, because the fun just don’t stop! How you choose to respond to the butt-kicking is completely up to you but I hope these 5 things will remind you of some tools that you have in your arsenal that you can employ to soften the butt-kicking and maybe even eliminate the blows. As women, we already have so much on our plate, let’s kick self-doubt, negative self-talk, lack of confidence and negative folks to the curb so we can go forward living the life that our Creator intended for us!