“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.”  ~Dr. Brené Brown

The past week I was on an emotional rollercoaster! The week began with a mini-meltdown on Monday and ended with me focusing on all of the blessings of my life, thanks to the support of my friends and family. I really tried to make this week about everything and everyone else but it ended up being about how my emotions were threatening to control me. What’s so odd is that for all of the people that I love, it was a great and happy week. Starting with my son winning his soccer tournament, my best friend rocking it at a conference, a new blessing for my big sis and graduation for so many I hold dear. How could I not be over the moon? Well I wasn’t. I was sad and very hormonal (I am in my mid-40’s now, so it’s to be expected). I realize this time of year, Memorial weekend, always makes me sad when I think about what happened to me and my boys five years ago. I didn’t put it together at first, but subconsciously it was there, they lost their Dad and I lost my husband. I had a dream about Raphael and he was talking to me. I couldn’t really remember what he said to me in the dream but I knew that he was telling me that I was doing good. He was smiling. As much as I try to push such a sad anniversary from my thoughts, sometimes the sadness and impact of the loss will come back even though I am doing well now. So I struggled to go to work and remained in a funk despite working out really hard four times this week. By Friday things were a lot better but I was looking forward to the weekend! Have you had a week like that?? I needed a way to get back to my positive self and the energy that fuels all of my endeavors, but it wasn’t going to be easy. So I decided to be honest about my struggles, I was vulnerable with several friends that I trust, and they all stepped up and supported me through it.

This week I want to talk about allowing yourself to be honest with your emotions instead of stuffing them down and allowing yourself to just feel where you are at a particular moment. It was really freeing. Now I am not suggesting that you walk around being Debbie Downer all the time but sometimes you may have an off day and that’s okay. The key is not to stay there too long. I am the bubbly energy in the room so I knew my energy was going to affect the people that knew me best, and it did. So I am saying this to myself more than I am saying it to anyone, try to do things that make you happy and put into perspective the great things in your life, those for which you are grateful despite your challenges. Here are seven things that I recognized this week that really helped me as I was struggling to deal with my emotional rollercoaster.

1. Be grateful. It’s hard to feel sad if you focus on the good things in your life and all of your blessings. I found myself looking at the fullness of my life and it always cheered me up. Plus my boys smiles and laughter always lights up my day. We worked on their last school projects and it was totally fun! I found myself using my creativity to help them make a hedgehog from scratch and a sea otter with personality!! Who can be sad when your little guy says that his project was “cool”!

2. Watch a funny or feel-good movie. For me this movie was The Color Purple. I can recite all of the lines and I absolutely love the soundtrack. Don’t cha love it when Shug sings “Sista you’ve been on my mind”? Who can stay sad after Celie and Nettie are reunited? Not me! This weekend I’m gonna bring out Forrest Gump, that one always makes me smile for sure!

3. Get it out. Instead of trying to hold in my sadness, on Monday I had a good cry. The ugly kind. I was driving home from work because I didn’t want to be a blubbering fool when I got home. After I was finished, I felt a lot better. I wiped my nose and dried my tears and felt more calm.

4. Connect with supportive and positive people. Stop trying to be so strong, everyone needs support and it is not a sign of weakness. In Daring Greatly Dr. Brené Brown writes that “There is actually some very persuasive leadership research that supports the idea that asking for support is critical, and that vulnerability and courage are contagious” . I reached out to several friends and they were all there for me. I’ve lost count how many people hugged me, listened to me or just called to check on me. Some just out of the blue. I know God sent them all. I even talked to my trainer so I wouldn’t sabotage my exercise and food intake because of my emotional state and he was so encouraging. Each person sensed that I was struggling and I didn’t lie and say I was okay, I told the truth and they were able to be there for me, I was vulnerable. I let them comfort me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I needed to hear it so I could get past it. I hope that when they need me, they know I will be there for them too.

5. Workout. Even though I was struggling, when I was in the gym kicking butt on the spin bike and mouthing the words to Alright by Janet Jackson I feel so happy. It’s true about those endorphins!!

6. Eat healthy. I really wanted to eat healthy because it just made me feel better. Although a molten lava cake was calling my name, I opted to eat lots of fruits, fresh salads and good protein instead for most of the week. The last thing I needed was to feel worst about the weight that I had gained during the week from emotional eating. (PS. I did have a chocolate chip cookie from Brown Bag Deli on Thursday though, they are simply divine!)

7. Prayer. And last, but certainly not least, you should pray without ceasing. Connecting with God and asking him to help me feel better about my circumstances always lifts me up. I know that in my own power I am not able to fix anything but as I prayed I saw the manifestation of His power in my life. I mentioned before that this was a week when I connected with so many friends (some I haven’t spoken to in a while) called to check on me or I was compelled to call them, that I know that it was God speaking to us all. I also was shown compassion, understanding and special kindness from complete strangers without ever asking for it. I know it was God’s looking out for me.

Today I feel so much better and I woke up with a smile on my face. I am thankful that I have the support of so many wonderful people and they want the best for me and love me. I feel so grateful and blessed that I have such great relationships in my life. Who can stay sad with such joy around them? Not me!! 🙂