Don’t lie to yourself anymore!

I had the opportunity to talk to a good friend about the defenses people put up when they are in the mode of self-protection. Who doesn’t self-protect, right? I think almost everyone does. When we are truly hurt by others it is a natural state to want to cocoon yourself and your emotions from further harm. The key is to not stay cocooned but to have an open our heart to receiving that which our spirit truly needs, LOVE. To connect to what our spirit needs, it is essential that we are honest with ourselves. If you are honest with no one else, at least be honest with yourself! It is not easy, especially if the lie helps you cope with your circumstances and some deep pain, but the truth really will set you free! I know that it may be painful (only for a short time) and require you to accept or deal with something you would rather not confront, but the alternative is not to live a life that you want or deserve.

Let me give you an example…

A few weeks ago I mentioned that we are born from love. It would then stand to reason that we also need love in our lives. What I know is that there are all types of love…1) the love of the creator, 2) love from a child, 3) the love from friends, 4) love from family, and 5) romantic love. While it may be easy to get the first four, the fifth one is the doosey! We may convince ourselves that because we haven’t been successful in finding it or having it in our lives, that we don’t need it. Not what your current condition says is possible, but what you know you deserve and what you know will make you truly be happy. Do you want to be coupled with someone who loves you unconditionally, who laughs at your jokes, thinks you are beautiful just as you are, doesn’t care that you have stretch marks, accepts the things about you that matter? Hell yeah!! Does he sounds like a dream? Hell yeah!! (Lol). Well he doesn’t have to be. In doing my meditation this week, what I now understand so clearly is that the love and acceptance you have for yourself, is projected to those that come into your space. Yes, including men. If you love and accept yourself you will radiate the beauty that you feel inside and it will attract others to you. You will be more open and less judgmental. You will pull down those barriers and guards that may be preventing men from approaching you and appear more willing to engage in conversation. You may openly smile more which will invite others into your space. Without knowing why, people will be attracted to your happiness, your joy, your humor, and warmth. What is on the inside can’t do anything but manifest on the outside. That’s just the way it is!! If you are already doing this, keep doing it. Don’t stop because he hasn’t found you yet. He’s coming…get ready!!

Here are some examples of how we lie to ourselves to protect from the truth:

• I am perfectly happy being alone because all men cheat, or all the good ones are taken, they all want someone young, I am too old to date…and on and on.
• It doesn’t hurt me when my sister (or brother) does this. They are just that way.
• He really feels bad when he hits me but he loves me so much that I know it won’t happen again if I stop doing those things that anger him.
• I know my Mom  or Dad loves me as much as my sister even though she/he never shows it. She was just raised that way.
• I only need to lose about 10 pounds (when you really need to lose about 50). Men like women with some meat on their bones. Tip: Focus on health and not on the scale but be honest about what that healthy range is for you.

Let’s explore how we start being honest with ourselves

1. The first step is to stop lying to yourself. As we discussed last week, it means changing the story you tell yourself. DECIDE, that you want something different than your current reality, especially if it doesn’t make you truly happy or bring you the joy, you so richly deserve.

2. Acknowledge what you truly want. Say it out loud, write it in your journal, put it on your vision board, tweet about it, I don’t care just put it somewhere where it is not just trapped inside of you but it is out there where you can see it. You have now made it real!! I love the line from The Notebook where Noah asks Allie, “What do you want? Not what your parents say you should want, or your fiance or even me, what do YOU want?” (I may be mis-quoting here but you get the jist right?). Dig deep!!

3. Share your truth by telling someone your truly trust. Don’t just keep it to yourself, share it with a trusted friend or confidant. This person should be someone who can truly be happy for you and will encourage you to manifest your dreams in your life. They want to see you happy and fulfilled. Once you put it out there you can’t lock it away or take it back like it wasn’t real. You now have an accountability partner who will remind you of your truth when you want to give up or revert back to your old patterns.

4. Walk in your truth. This is the hardest one. This means that you have to live it. Whatever it is, you are now conscious of it and you can’t pretend that it was not spoken. It may spur you to action, in a positive way, or to make some changes in your life that don’t fulfill you or feed who you truly are today.

I hope that you will stop and examine your truth today. Are there areas of your life where you are being less than honest with yourself? It’s not to late to change your path and create a new reality for yourself. I encourage you to do the work and live your honest truth. Namaste. (Lol, comes from meditating all week.)

As always your comments are welcome!