Take a look at Nicky and Paris Hilton in the front row at Pamella Roland’s show at this year’s Fashion Week. Yes you are seeing that right, they are on their phones!! They are totally not engaged with what is coming down the runway.

Is this you??

I was inspired to write this week’s blog by the same scenario at an India Arie concert I attended this week. During the show I looked around and several young women and few men were on their phones during the concert just browsing pictures on Facebook and Instagram. They weren’t responding to an emergency or anything important, they were just mindlessly looking at pictures and tuning out what was around them. I found it sad. It was especially sad in light of the fact that the show had such a wonderful visual display in addition to the great music.  It got me to thinking…how present are we being in our own lives?

“Studies show that only 7% of communication is based on the written or verbal word. A whopping 93% is based on nonverbal body language.” – Forbes (Is Social Media Sabotaging Real Communication?)

Everyone has a different limit. Mine is getting lower as I get older. I visit social media less and less. I find that even though I am extroverted, I really love my quiet time and I have no desire to share everything I am doing online. I still pick up the phone and have great conversations with my family and friends. My favorite time every week is the time I spend doing laundry and visiting with my sister. We talk and laugh about everything and anything. It helps us to stay close and connected. For me, meeting in person and catching up on your lives over a cup of tea or a Tazo Chai Latte at Starbucks is so important to me. I put my phone on silent so much that most times I miss calls (I’m working on that).

In this age of constant engagement we each have to figure out for ourselves how much is too much. Is it interfering with our ability to stay connected and present for what is happening in the lives of those that we love the most? I recently watched a movie called Disconnect. Look it up, it is a wonderful movie and a cautionary story about what happens when we are not connected or engaged with the people around us.

• Are you so busy that you miss some of the red flags that are going on in your children’s lives?
• What about the subtle signs in our relationships with our spouses or significant others that there is a problem?
• Are you aware of what is going on with your family’s finances even if one of you takes care of everything?
• What would happen if someone in your family suddenly died or was in an accident?

I have had to be present because I was suddenly thrust into the role of single parent over five years ago. Being unaware of what is around me is not an option or in the best interest of my family. Doing estate planning, having a will and ensuing the care of my children in the event of my passing are hard issues I have had to address. Many of you may be like me and have had to address these issues too, so you know what I am talking about. Pay attention and educate yourself. Listen and learn and be present when those around you are sharing information. Don’t avoid learning because it is not in your comfort zone. Remember that 93% of what people are trying to tell you are non-verbal and being present is sometimes the only way you can hear what they are saying.

Don’t be like Paris and Nicky. Show up and be present, participate in your life!

Here are some great articles I read about this topic:

• https://medium.com/i-m-h-o/6982cb938251
• http://www.forbes.com/sites/susantardanico/2012/04/30/is-social-media-sabotaging-real-communication/