I am one of these people that really likes being around positive people and the energy that they bring. I love to laugh and to smile. I truly believe that when you are around this type of energy that you are able to do your best work and to be your best self. So imagine how productive and efficient I have been after spending time with Oprah, her trailblazers, the inspiring Valorie Burton, her team (LaFern and Kimberly), and a room full of people I affectionately call, my TRIBE. I was affirmed and encouraged. Both Oprah and Valorie are living on purpose and pursuing their dreams. It was inspirational to watch them work. I could literally see myself doing my own work and living the life that I loved. I am more determined than ever to help others. There were many breakthroughs and I can truly say that more than anything there was great validation and confirmation of the path that I had already started on.

There were common threads that were woven into both weekends and as a voracious note taker, I was able to jot down pearls of wisdom that I wanted to share with all of you. Take what resonates and leave the rest.

Common themes that I learned from both weekends: 

1. SURRENDER is key. When you think about the fact that you are one person in a world of billions of people, it makes you feel small. When you think about the vastness of the universe, you become even smaller. There is an infinite amount of matter that comprises our universe, and we are a speck in it. When you look at the world this way you realize how amazing it is that we have been given the grace to do everything that we do. You realize that there are forces bigger than you (to me it is God) that’s working behind the scenes to ensure that what you desire, dream and do is fulfilled. You understand the true power of surrender. Whatever you desire, even as big as you can imagine it, it will never compare to what God can manifest for you. Oprah told the story of her visiting the home of her station manager when she was a reporter in her 20’s. He lived in an upscale community and had a beautiful home. As she went into the kitchen which was grand and beautiful, she looked out the window and saw five oak trees. She thought to herself, one day I am going to have a great house like this with a kitchen that has a window that also looks out on five oak trees. Fast forward to today and one morning she was in her kitchen in her home in California and she looked out her kitchen window and noticed that there were five great oak trees, she counted just to be sure. She thought wow, it really happened! But what’s even more amazing about this story, is that beyond the five oak trees are thousands more that she didn’t even imagine or expect. You see, God can manifest dreams for you that you didn’t even think of or dream, all you have to do is surrender.

1. Assuredness comes from being STILL. There is so much noise in our lives today that it can drown out what we really need to hear. Get quiet and still so you can hear the whispers in your life. This means finding time to meditate or pray. Our intuition is powerful, but it can’t really speak to you if you are so busy and distracted that you can’t key in to what it is trying to tell you. Find some time to get still today, hear the whispers.

2. Make sure that you are clear on your INTENTION for any project or undertaking, make sure that it is not just about you. This means taking the ego out of everything. We live in a very individualistic society and so much of what we reward are people who “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” to experience great success. The important part of the lesson that is never told is that there is always someone along our road to success that helps us, who believes in us. It may be a parent, grandparent, teacher, friend, mentor, counselor, the lady at church who always has a kind word, or the man at the store who always supported everything you did. There are people along the road to success. Make sure you are using your gifts for a greater purpose than yourself and begin doing your work with the intention of serving others. That’s how you leave a great legacy.

3.  Take RESPONSIBILITY for your life. What I love about being a coach is that it is all about helping people to create the life they want now and to focus on who they are today. While there may have been circumstances in your life that may have brought you to your knees, and even though you acknowledge that experience, you will forward towards the future you want to create for yourself. You are responsible for what happens today, from this point forward. Despite a tough upbringing or a crippling divorce, you WILL create the life you want. No blame, no shame, no apologies. You are going to change the course of your life trajectory with forgiveness and personal responsibility. Isn’t that powerful? How awesome when you step into the full power of that.

4. Change doesn’t happen overnight, it is a process. Sometimes you see people living amazing lives and being truly happy and you may think that it came so easy for them. What you didn’t see was the struggle and sacrifice that went into helping them to get where they are. If you are in the midst of a struggle, know that this is part of the process. You are learning and growing. Keep at it and don’t give up! If you are building a business and have had a set back or two, know that everything you are learning is part of your struggle. Just remember this wonderful thought from The Alchemist while you are on your journey the entire universe will make an effort to help you succeed. Your transformation is occurring right now, stay on your path and enjoy the ride!

5. Allow emotion to move through us, even if it is negative and uncomfortable because it will not last forever. Some people allow an emotion to derail them or break their spirit, but if they will just allow themselves to feel it and experience it, it will past. Nothing lasts forever and this too shall pass. If you allow yourself to look for the learning in the experience, it will stretch you and you will experience tremendous growth and transformation. Don’t be afraid to try things for fear of failing or getting hurt. You have to try new things and live a full life. Get outside of your comfort zone and stretch yourself. Of course there is a chance you could get hurt again, but you may not. You may find that you are exhilarated by the journey and you reach your goals in the process.

6. It’s powerful to figure out WHAT YOU WANT. During my weekend with Valorie she mentioned that it is one of the most powerful questions you can ask someone, “What do you want?”. Isn’t it interesting that Oprah named her weekend, The Life Your Want Weekend? It’s because knowing what you truly want helps you make sense of why you are living the life you want. One of two things will happen: 1) you will feel aligned with your purpose or 2) you will go in search of answering the question. Inside of each of us is already the power to discover the answer, but sometimes we need coaching and coaxing to help us to tap into the answer. While still others can get still enough to discover it themselves. Once you figure out the answer it will become uncomfortable for you until you can get on the path of living the life you want. If you know you are not in alignment right now, how does it feel? I bet you are pretty uncomfortable. What are you willing to do to get in alignment with what you want and desire for your life?

7. Truly happy, successful people want others to be successful and happy. When you are happy, you want others to be happy too. You revel in the success of others and you want to share your lessons in the hope that others can follow. You don’t want to experience this feeling alone. It feels wonderful to share your story in the hope that it will resonate with someone else and there will be true CONNECTION in the process. It’s why someone may choose to use me as a coach versus someone else, because they connect with me and my story. The reason for this, as Oprah clearly articulates, is that “every one of us is looking for the same thing – we want to know we matter”. I am not doing all of this for myself. I am doing it with the intention of touching and affecting other people’s lives. Valorie even wrote a best selling book about it entitled Happy Women Live Better. So search your heart. Are you happy sharing your formula to success? Are you able to be happy when others experience success? Focus on uncovering your own joy and then share it with the world, it will come back to you tenfold!