Today I want to talk about the difficult topic of forgiveness. It is a topic that I have always felt comfortable discussing because it has always come easy for me to forgive. I learned very early from watching my mother, who was a living example of how to forgive, that it was something that I would confront often in my life. As we read the Bible together she asked me to internalize this scripture from Ephesians 4:31-32. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. This week my ability to put this scripture into action was tested.

On Thursday I crossed paths online with a former boyfriend, someone with whom I had a very serious relationship, which ended badly, due to a great deal of dishonesty on his part. I immediately became upset at even seeing his name online. Seeing his picture made me even more livid. I couldn’t believe that he was still walking around perpetrating this fraud, this deception. How could he be laughing and enjoying life like he wasn’t the most dishonest person on the planet!! That’s the conversation that I was having in my head. It distracted me for about an hour as I focused on the dishonesty, the hurt, the broken trust, the sadness, etc. Just writing this has mired me down again. So imagine what it did to my spirit for one solid hour? Before this event I thought that I had forgiven him for what happened during our relationship. I even thought that I had put all of it behind me because it happened almost two years ago. But in reality, I had not. The illuminating thing about what happened this week is that it clearly illustrates what unforgiveness does to your spirit. While the other person is walking around happy and living their life, you are mired in sadness and bitterness. It eats away at you and even affects your productivity. You stop moving in a forward motion and stop dead in your tracks, while all of the negative emotions associated with the pain takes up residence in your heart and mind. Not only does unforgiveness take a spiritual toll on you, it also takes a physical, and psychological toll. You may feel suddenly ill, unable to eat, or even sleep. You may even become depressed. It is that powerful.

So I just stopped in my tracks and I said an earnest prayer. There weren’t any tears as I asked God to help me rid my spirit once and for all of any traces of unforgiveness that I had in my heart so that I could truly allow it to be open to receiving all the love that God had for me. I knew that if any of my heart was cloaked in unforgiveness that it was not fully free to be filled with love. I wanted all of it gone from me. I also said a prayer for my ex and I asked God to bless him and I meant it. I prayed that he would not hurt anyone else and that he would be a better man for the people in his life, his children, his family. We need men who are healthy and whole, not those who inflict pain and devastation. My prayer is for more love in the world, less pain, less hurt, less anger, less unforgiveness.

I know that forgiving someone who has hurt you is hard, but you must do it. Not for them, but for yourself. To be truly free to live the joyful life that God wants for you. What I know for sure is that once I said that prayer, I felt like a cloud lifted from my life. I shifted my focus back to my daily activities, my goals for the day, my tasks at hand, and all of the great things that were happening in my life that day. I turned on I Forgive You from Rachelle Ferrell as it truly spoke to how I was feeling at that moment.

I truly feel so blessed to be able to share my story with you. I hope that it will bless you as well and encourage you to forgive someone that may have hurt you. My prayer for everyone who reads this, is that you will be inspired to ACT and that you too will be set FREE.

Much love,

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Please Note: The process of forgiveness is not the same for everyone. If you are suffering with serious emotions associated with a trauma inflicted on you by someone you truly want to forgive there are wonderful counselors who can assist you in working through these issues. Seek out the assistance of a christian counselor, licensed professional counselor or psychologist.