I was encouraged to write this week’s blog post by a few stories I saw this week on GMA.  The first one is about three pioneers in fashion, Bethann Hardison, Iman and Naomi Campbell, who are speaking out against the lack of diversity in the models who grace the runways of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week.  The three models (two former and one current), who are calling themselves the Diversity Coalition, wield a lot of power in the industry but still see so little diversity being cast in runway shows as the standard of beauty is becoming more and more narrow and limited.

To evoke change they wrote an anonymous letter in which fifty fashion houses were named, including Chanel, Prada, Versace and Marc by Marc Jacobs. The goal is for designers to recognize that it is not acceptable to have color-free runways, and for them to do something about it. Their goal is not just to change who is represented on the runway but how beauty is represented and defined. I love fashion but I was appalled that such a lack of diversity still exists today. I applaud these three courageous women for taking a stand and wanting to make a difference. Take a look at this compelling story.

The second piece is about Julie Chen of the Talk who had plastic surgery on her Asian eyes because when she was starting her career at the age of 25 in Dayton, Ohio she was told that she would never anchor a news desk because she was Chinese. She was told by her boss that she looked disinterested and bored. She later heard this again by a top agent who said that he wouldn’t represent her unless she had plastic surgery to open up her eyes. Even though she was from a strong Chinese home, she developed a complex and started to believe that there was truth to what they were saying and decided to have her eyes done to further her career. She found that they were right and she said that she saw a surge in her career after she had the procedure. The image above how she looked then and now.  Watch the video of her talk about this controversial topic.

So I began to think about how we define beauty today. People always say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but is it? Can you truly say that your perception of beauty is not being affected by the images that you see and by the celebrities who are held up as the standard? I can’t say that, and I love my heritage and culture. I think we are more influenced than we realize by the media and images that are constantly in our eye gaze.

So it got me to thinking, how does this affect how women feel about themselves? Their concept of themselves?  I know from experience that it can be crippling to your self-esteem. So I thought about a young girl or woman who is struggling with being a little overweight and needs to encourage herself before she goes out into the world each day.  She asks me if I think she is beautiful? She is struggling with feelings of acceptance. Here is what I want to say to her…

So you ask me how can you truly accept how you look with your full hips and your thick thighs? I say accept all of who you are because all of you is beautiful. What you consider a flaw, someone will see and think is an asset. The key is for you to recognize your own assets and gifts. Even when everything on television does not validate you or say that you are pretty, know that there is more than one standard of beauty and validate yourself. Your beauty radiates from the inside out. Even when what you see in the mirror doesn’t always match what you are feeling on the inside walk out into each day looking your best and carrying yourself with confidence and grace. Always put your best foot forward. Physical beauty will fade and change over time but who you are on the inside is truly what matters. You may not be the norm of beauty but I know that you are beautiful because you are made in the wonderful image of the Creator. When feel down and need a lift I want to remind you of a wonderful poem by Maya Angelou entitled Phenomenal Woman (entire poem). Read it to yourself when you need a boost of confidence or a reminder of how absolutely wonderful you are!

Here are just a few lines…

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size   
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say, It’s in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,   
The stride of my step,   
The curl of my lips.   
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,   
That’s me.

Much love,

I would love to hear from you about your thoughts of how beauty is defined in our culture and its effect on you. Have you considered plastic surgery to “fix” something that you think will make you happier? Share it with me on the blog now!